Tag Archive | "politics"

When Keepin’ It Real Goes Wrong

When Keepin’ It Real Goes Wrong

Joe Biden

The 2008 presidential election may seem like ancient history, but it was less than a year ago that Tina Fey famously spoofed Sarah Palin, chirping the now-infamous, “I can see Russia from my house!” Before Trig was a household name, before the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman became as widely read as the Times or the Post, the formal complaints against Palin were rather staid: the governor simply doesn’t have enough foreign policy experience for her position.

We’ve just finished eight years under a former state governor who could see Mexico from his backyard – and look how that turned out.Partly due to this, the office that would have been Palin’s is now inhabited by former Senator Joe Biden, that experienced don of foreign policy. The difference is night and day, and as Andrew Sullivan has insinuated, between life and death. By electing the chair of the Senate Foreign Relations committee over the wonder from Wasila, America ensured herself a new hope in foreign policy – a new approach to the world that one would be tempted to call humble.

Or so one might think. Instead, Vice President Biden went off the reservation, excoriating Russia in an interview with the Wall Street Journal on Monday. While citing the need to avoid “embarrass[ing] an individual or a country when they’re dealing with significant loss of face,” the vice president proceeded to do exactly that, describing the Russian Empire as “clinging” to an unsustainable past in the wake of declining birth rates and a “withering economy.” As if the comments themselves weren’t enough, Biden had to make them while chumming it up with Georgian President Mikhail Saakhashvili, who may or may not have instigated a war with Russia last summer.

Biden’s record as a gaffe machine is long lasting – in fact, it is the second time that his mouth has triumphed over his brain. Just three months ago, Biden urged American’s to avoid using public transportation during the outbreak of the almost entirely nonfatal H1N1 virus.

The issue comes not from the statements themselves – although attacking Russia for holding onto past glory is rather rich, coming from the man from Scranton. Rather it is the fact that he is making such assertions as vice president of the United States. In making these statements in his official capacity as the second-highest ranking executive in the nation, in effect he speaks on behalf of the entire country. Yet Biden seems entirely unaware that he cannot ramble as if he were a Delaware state representative, that holding such a high-ranking position requires a modicum of restraint. He pronounces off-the-cuff theories with all the self-restraint of a drunk collegian studying abroad, describing in slurred pidgin exactly why the world is the way it is. Yet rather than being forgotten in the haze of Sunday’s hangover, the ramblings of the VP become a matter of public record, a primary source for observers of American foreign relations.

Sarah Palin visits Alaskan troops stationed in Germany

Sarah Palin visits Alaskan troops stationed in Germany

Sarah Palin Visiting Alaskan Troops in GermanyPopulists are, however, obsessed with straight talk; to use already dated vernacular, they value ‘keeping it real’ over realism. As the featured comment on the Journal‘s page put it, “Who gave Joe Biden the truth serum? The only person I’m beginning to respect in the Obama administration is Biden, go figure.” But as Dave Chapelle illustrated on his popular sketch comedy show, keeping it real can often go horribly wrong. There are few places in which it can be worse than in foreign relations, in which even the misplacement of an article can lead to bloodshed.

This brings us back to Palin, who still dominates the headlines even as she flees from them as though they were style handbooks. Even as bad as Biden might be, the punditry cautions, Palin would have been far worse. Perhaps so – but then again, perhaps not. After all,McCain’s iciness towards Palin – both during and after the campaign – have illustrated that the love-fest was little more than a shotgun wedding of political expediency. Is it so unreasonable to suggest that McCain’s attitude toward the vice-presidency would be far more controlling that the current loose leash? If McCain and his staff didn’t trust Palin on the campaign trail, why would they trust her with foreign affairs, a field in which Sen. McCain revels? In all likelihood, a Vice-President Palin would wait idly, biding the time and preparing for the 2012 race (although an exception might be made for a visit to Berlusconi’s Italy).

Each vice presidential candidate had their Russia gaffe. Palin’s, had it been issued from the Vice President’s desk, would certainly make the country look stupid. But Biden’s comment, which was actually issued, makes America look downright bullying. While Sarah Palin might have been unqualified, Joe Biden has proven himself incompetent. The former should lead to skepticism, but the latter should lead to denunciation.Thus far, however, Vice President Biden has only been described as an “asset” by the White House spokesman. Perhaps Gibbs misheard the question as an economic one.

Given these options, America would be wise to return to the old tradition of the do-nothing vice presidency. It is a long and storied tradition of being that “most insignificant office,” and later compared unfavorably to a “bucketful of warm spit.” In recent years, however, the vice-presidency has risen to far more powerful heights, thanks in large part to the ceaseless scheming by Dick Cheney. Gene Healy has chronicled the cult of the presidency, but concurrently there has risen a cult of the vice-presidency. A vice-president that did nothing but wait for the president to die is simply unacceptable in the eyes of an impatient “don’t stand there, do something!” citizenry. At the very least, though, we might hope for a muzzle.

A version of this piece was published in The D.C. Writeup.

Posted in Current Affairs, To the RightComments (0)

Pop Dem Politics

Pop Dem Politics

Nixon, bowling

Reporting from the nation’s top show
By Evan Lisull
Curtis James Jackson III seems prima facie to be a typical swing voter. He initially came out in favor of Hilary, citing his approval of her husband’s administration, but later switched over to Sen. Barack Obama. Except of course, that Mr. Jackson is more commonly known by his rap moniker “50 Cent”; and 50 is a convicted felon, and cannot vote.

I recount this Eight-Mile-infused election tidbit with my colleague, but his mind is elsewhere, a Cheshire cat grin breaking out across his face as his thought processes reached their apex. “Dude, let’s watch…the Dude!” I chuckle, and indeed, for it is an ideal hortatory for a haze-filled Tuesday night. The popcorn pops, and, for an all-too-brief moment, things are going well. Life might not be fucked, after all.

Enter John Goodman, in all his corpulence, playing “Walter Sobchak”, Vietnam vet. Only it’s not Walter; it’s John McCain – “Are you sure this is the right movie?” – and as Sir Chipmunk Cheeks himself begins his soliloquy, the planet shifts just slightly, just enough for me to realize that everything has gone wrong. “No, John, you’re not wrong“– John?!?– “you’re just an asshole.” I calmly get up, smile blithely, walk to a stranger’s bathroom, and vomit profusely. I cannot believe this.

These candidates: I look around and everywhere I see them, ghosts haunting the corporeal machine, lighting cigarettes on the stairwell and advertising Coca Cola. Forget niche culture; we’ve got the Great Vortex. The boundaries have been shattered, politics becoming movies becoming advertisements becoming disposable ink pens.

Once again, politics have ruined my life.

Right now, it is dead season in the Long, Long March to Pennsylvania Ave. (known aptly on the Daily Show as the Clusterfuck to the White House), but news anchors and their caustic blogging cousins are still in high drive, and like PCP users after getting the hit of a lifetime, they are read to fuck anyone up. Thus, anything is and has been fair game, from the candidate’s sartorial choices to the length of their toenails to their daughters (“How much? How much for the little girls? How much for your women?”). One daughter, in particular, brings the boys to the yard, and she ain’t in the dairy industry. She’s Meghan McCain, and she makes the Bush Twins look so 2007. She blogs, she’s sassy, she’s sexy (this is politics, remember– anyone thirty or under is automatically “hot”), and her luggage is carried by a Chinaman named Mr. Lee. She establishes her credentials amongst the will o’ the wisp known as the “Youth Vote” by listing Vampire Weekend among her favorite artists, and The Big Lebowski among her favorite films.

This led Jonathan Chait of The New Republic

A main character in the film is Walter obchak, a gruff, lovable, hot-headed, moralistic foreign policy hawk who’s often confused about the facts and constantly invokes his experience in Vietnam. I wonder what she thinks when she watches it.

As if this weren’t enough, we also had to kill Rocky Balboa, the much-loved boxer who may or may not have had a speech impediment. “Let me tell you something, when it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common,” said Sen. Hillary Clinton at a Philadelphia rally in early April, “I never quit. I never give up. And neither do the American people. So when I see Rocky in his warmups, I can’t help but see a pantsuit…not really. But will I ever hear the lines, “I had no prime, I had nothin’!” and not consider the implications?

Of course, this is the same “Rocky” played by Sylvester Stallone, the HGH-pumping actor who endorsed Sen. John McCain for the presidency, a man who wants to ban the substance. McCain is also supported by Heidi Montag, who apparently is a “star” on the “hit show” The Hills, featured on MTV, the same network that hosted a debate with Mike Huckabee, who was supported by Chuck Norris, whose legends of powress have clogged the Internet tubes.

It’s like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon on crack, only a lot less fun.

It would be one thing if this were a one-way, East-bound highway from LA to DC. But increasingly, politics is becoming pop. Already, Washington is known as “Hollywood for ugly people.” The chief executive spends three innings shooting the shit about baseball with Joe Morgan. Politicians (or their aides) have their own Facebook and MySpace pages.

This back-and-forth results a serious intellectual failure: for many, especially those among our generation, politics is merely a stem on the Great VH1-MTV-TMZ Tree of Pop. Political preferences are not based in philosophical consideration, experience, or empirical studies; they are based solely on personal preference. They are “supporters” of political parties and members in so far as we are “supporters” of Law and Order or the Dave Matthews Band.

Expect only drawn-out demise from such a state of affairs. A citizenry that cannot distinguish between entertainment and politics will soon learn that all roads lead to Rome, a Rome where intellectuals mock Emperor Claudius’ death on the crapper while the principles of the Republic are flushed away.

Posted in Current Affairs, To the RightComments (1)

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