Summer has hit and to me that means one thing: concerts. Festivals like Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza, Pitchfork, and a slew of others. The music is usually enough to keep anyone focused and dancing, but some concerts sometimes require a little bit more. It seems slightly sacrilegious to attend a Dropkick Murphys or Gogol Bordello show without at least a little bit of liquor in your belly.
However, this can be problematic when you’re working an 8-hour gig in order to pay for rent, gas, concert tickets, let alone $4.50 for a single shot of Jack Daniels or a 3-dollar beer from the hassled bartender at the side of the stage. What is an honest concert loving American to do?
The only real options to gaining alcohol is to pony up your hard earned cash after you already bought your pricey ticket. Or, better yet, sneak it in. The only problem is that concert venues recognize this as a very tempting option as well. Classic tactics such as flasks, bottles in coat pockets, and even pints in the sock are failing in the face of increased security and prolonged pat downs.
There are some quality products such as The Beerbelly, which is made up of a neoprene and a polyurethane bladder with a tube for dispensing. In layman’s terms, it’s a plastic bag you strap to your belly that imitates the stomach of a college senior in a frat and has a tube that conveniently dispenses beer or liquor into your mouth. The only problem with products like this is that they cost $49.95 for a basic model.
I’ve luckily happened upon a tactic while I was studying in Ecuador that works perfectly for concerts. In many Ecuadorian stores and gas stations it is customary that you drink any soda or beer you might purchase in the store or near the premises. This is so that the storeowners don’t have to risk losing the bottles which they can return to the bottling companies for money. To avoid this risk, they will give you your beverage in the equivalent of a “to-go sack”. This is simply a plastic lunch sack that they pour the beverage into and tie up at one end. It holds carbonation surprisingly well and can be drank by ripping out a corner of the bag and sipping until it’s gone.
The benefit of these plastic sacks is that it can feel very much like the fillings of any pair of briefs or a bra. It can be attached to articles of clothing by simple pressure, a twist tie, or a small amount of any adhesive. These bags can easily hold 12-16 oz. with very little risk of spilling.
I’d recommend using mixed drinks or beer because once the whole is ripped or the top is opened it is fairly difficult to get it closed again. This can lead to the bags being drank quite quickly, and a lunch sack of Jager or vodka can get you well past the point of enjoying the concert, unless you want to hear the band’s hot new track from inside a bathroom stall.
